Second Amendment Solutions?

A lot of Trump voters have been operating on the assumption that the Affordable Care Act and Obamacare are two different things. a5v7svi

Now that they realize they will lose their healthcare, many of them have decided to utilize another Trump suggestion, and become “Second Amendment People”. Most of Trump’s rural voters are armed, and those who depend on the Affordable Care Act have become increasingly desperate. “I’m dead either way,” said one struggling farmer. “I might as well go out shooting.”

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Benedict Donald

You have to wonder what the hell has happened to journalism when, for the second time, Teen Vogue gets the point that everyone else seems to be missing. This information has been out there for a long time, but what the press mostly wanted to talk about during the campaign was Hillary Clinton’s e-mail server. Saturday Night Live definitely nailed it. Donald Trump has compromised the sovereignty of the United States of America, and if he thinks all this is “… one last shot…” he’s in for a rude awakening.

Paul Ryan So Scared

Paul Ryan proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that his entire political career is based on his deep fear and hatred of women. This, of course, brings him in line with the President-Elect and the rest of his staff. #PaulRyanSoScared is trending on Twitter.

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New Career for Kim Burrell?

Gospel singer Kim Burrell has made it very clear that she is no longer a follower of Jesus of Nazareth. This brings her into line with most of the Trump-loving American Evangelical community, and highlights one sticky problem facing it: How can you call yourself Christian when you don’t actually follow Christ? There is a movement afoot to re-brand as the Evangelical Church of Yahweh, but elders are concerned that people won’t be able to pronounce it. Ms. Burrell herself has considered the moniker “Lady of Leviticus”, but has already run into personal issues with one or two of the 76 prohibitions in that book.

Trump’s List Leaked

A Trump family insider has leaked The Donald’s New Year’s Resolution list:

  1. Replace all jobs paying less than $100,000 per year with automation.
  2. Hire Anonymous to hack anyone who says anything bad about Trump.
  3. Use Second Amendment solutions on anyone displaced by #1.
  4. Blame #3 on Immigrants, Muslims, and Inner City Blacks.
  5. Deport Immigrants.
  6. Round up Muslims into camps.
  7. Get stooges to buy up the resulting foreclosed real estate.

MRA Carrie Fisher Claim

Men’s Rights Activists have claimed credit for the death of Star Wars icon Carrie Fisher. Their outrage over the lead characters of Star Wars: The Force Awakens and Rogue One: A Star Wars Story being women initially elicited calls for boycotts of both films. However, when the boycotts failed to make a dent in the films’ box office takings, a pro-Trump Men’s Rights group calling itself Force Purity took its Reddit ranting several steps further, declaring that the only way that Disney would listen would be to start killing the women of Star Wars, one by one. Natalie Portman, Daisy Ridley, and Felicity Jones are reportedly next on the next on the group’s list.

Why bother?

The Electoral College isn’t going to vote against Trump, because too many of its Republican electors are either exactly like Pam Bondi, or have been bought/threatened into submission. A few of them may even be true Trumpists, though they’re likely not pleased with his cabinet of the wealthy elite. As has been the case for the past fifty years, the winner of the US Presidential Election is the one who looks the best on television. We should have known from the beginning that the reality show star would win. America The Shallow.